Thousand Needles
by dune-ashes
Summary: '...Oh.' Luhan laughs bitterly, the hollow sound still pounding unpleasantly in Sehun's head long minutes afterwards. 'And who are you, hm? Are you a man, Sehun? Or another useless wrack of a doll, just like me? EXO Asylum!AU, dark , M/M, violence, abuse. Pairings: Sehun/Luhan(HunHan), Chanyeol/Baekhyun(Baekyeol), Kai/Kyungsoo(Kaisoo), and others.
1. Chapter 1

Thousand Needles

Title: Thousand Needles (1/?)

Pairing: Sehun/Luhan, Chanyeol/Baekhyun, more later on

Rating: PG13

Genre: Asylum!AU, dark , M/M

Warnings: Mentions of violence, but it will get worse. Consider yourself warned.

Disclaimer: They are not mine, obviously

(...)

_'...Oh?' Luhan laughs bitterly, the hollow sound still pounding unpleasantly in Sehun's head long minutes afterwards. 'And who are you, hm? Are you a man, Sehun? Or another useless wrack of a doll, just like me?'_

_'It's funny how we're told various things in our lifespans, meaningful nothings that are supposed to define us. Shape and mold us until we're no longer an individual human being, just a well-known, safe pattern that somewhere, at some point, will help to stuff someone's pockets with rotten chink of a coin,' he continues. 'You're born better or worse, as someone with potential or an useless piece of dirt others will step upon as soon as you leave your cute little cradle. You can argue, sweetly and naively, but guess what? It changes nothing. Nothing at all.' _

_Sehun doesn't trust his voice to say anything. He's petrified, his heart pounding from the unexpectancy and surreality of it all; sweat on his forehead. That's not what he's been expecting, not even close. _

_Luhan smiles at Sehun's confused frown with a seductive quirk of his elegant lips._

_'Don't give me that face, it hurts inside.' he mocks. 'You're a cute kid, Sehun. That's what I'm telling you at least, but it still has to mean something, doesn't it?'_

_'Luhan...'_

_'Do you know what I was told? I'm sure you do, but I'll tell you anyway,' he cuts, index finger on his lower lip. 'That I'm Chinese, I'm a man, I'm young and since I'm also smart and rather eye-catching, I can have anything. Just because I'm that superior. Easy, isn't it? Of course it's not everything, I also have duties for … society. And family I won't ever have.' _

_Sehun actually does look like he tries to understand, but that's not enough, obviously. Luhan pities him a little. Or maybe envies him, he's not entirely sure. Either way, as layers of his innocence are succesively torn from his body – and that is to happen soon enough – then he will understand. _

_He's just a fresh, young soul finding its way into hell, after all. Whether he wants it or not holds little importance. Regrettably. _

_'It takes only one needle to pierce a balloon and only one petty fault to lose a crown and be thrown face down into gutter. But don't worry, you've already taken your first false steep. Now it's going to be surprisingly easy.'_

It's a _facility, _they tell him. A facility to make sick people healthy, and even better – to make them be born anew. Sehun doesn't really believe that he'll ever be better, but he decides that since living on the street won't help much either – maybe in dying – he may as well end up under someone else's care. For now.

He gawks stupidly at the building before they drag him inside. It's huge and somewhat eerie, with black walls and fogged, high windows in thick frames that speak of ages behind their creation. It's not yet enough to send chills down his spine but close. Too close to his liking.

They walk side by side, their hands on his shoulders as if to make sure he won't run away. Sehun feels each step deep in his chest, hammering with odd anxiety as he drags his legs forward on the stone pavement, waiting for fate to come.

There are three floors and a row of countless rooms on each in St. Badrick's all-boys facility for homeless and difficult youth. There is one common bathroom, kitchen, dining room, study units and a daily room on the ground level, as well as an open air soccer field and rose gardens behind the building. The rooms accomodate from four to six people and are furnished as simply as possible, with double beds and small shelves for a few personal belongings. Sehun doesn't have much – just a few shirts, really – so the problem of enough space is the very last on his list. He sighs and sets his bag down on the floor.

'Shit! Just...just talk to me, Christ!'

The door burst open before he can take any closer look at the room. Two boys stumble inside, one short and blonde and the other tall and thin like a stick, short dark hair a chaotic mess on his head. After a few frantic seconds the smaller one turns to face the intruder and it's then that Sehun notices him gripping his bleeding nose and bruised brow arch.

'Baekhyun, please! What the...'

'You!' the blonde one ignores his friend and points an accusing finger at Sehun. 'Whoever you are. Get out.'

The boy's face isn't in a particularly good shape and his blood's dripping all over the floor now. Sehun reaches out a hand, because fuck, that guy needs help.

'Listen, if it's your room then I guess I'm your new roommate. Should I call for...'

'NO!' the sudden shout startles Sehun and he involuntary takes a few steps back. ' .Out.'

The taller guy takes his hand and shoves Sehun behind the door with an apologetic expression on his face. 'Listen, mate...Sorry for that. I'm Chanyeol. Talk to you later okay?'

With that the door are closed and he's thrown out of his own room, but since the situation seemed like an emergency he can't bring himself to be particularly angry or disappointed. If anything, he's slightly shocked. The noises coming from inside are unnerving though, and against his best judgement he leans closer instead of walking away.

'Chanyeol...please, leave me alone...Chanyeol, just go.'

Baekhyun's furious voice turns into pathetic little whines and mumbles Sehun can't really comprehend with the wall between them. He feels a tug at his heart as he grips the thick wooden door frame. What happened? Should he call someone? But whom? He's new, it's not like he was instructed what to do in such situations. If he just walks away, will it be for the best?

Chanyeol's deep voice makes him snap out of his thoughts.

'Hey...you know I won't leave you. Look at me.'

There's long silence afterwards and Sehun strains his senses to catch anything more when he feels something poking sharply at his shoulder. He jolts.

'Eavesdropping? So naughtly from the very beginning!'

He turns just to gap unintelligently at the sight before him. The boy's lean like a willow, with stramineous hair falling in straight, innocent locks on his forehead. His nose is small and pretty, eyes almond-shaped and almost overly playful as he looks at Sehun with slightly raised eyebrows.

His beauty is so incontrovertible and overwhelming that it takes a moment for the other boy to find his voice again.

'It's not like this... look – it's my room too. I just happened to hear something, and...anyway, it's a misunderstanding.' Sehun says, ignoring how pathetic his excuse sounds. At least his voice doesn't waver, and that alone makes him a little proud for some unknown reason. 'I'll be going.'

'It sure is,' the blonde winks at him and Sehun's heart suddenly starts beating faster. 'It's all fine until you're caught. Have fun listening to them getting on it, I was just stopping by to say hi to the _new guy. _Guess it's you.'

'Getting on what?' Sehun asks, puzzled, and instantly feels ashamed when the boy gives him an amused look. 'Anyway, hi. I'm Sehun.' he adds quickly to mask his embarrassment. 'Nice to meet you, um...'

'Oh yes. Nice to meet you too indeed.' the blonde says, still smiling. Then, just like that, he walks away, his shoulder brushing the other boy's arm as he passes. 'I'll see you around, _Sehun_.'

TBC


	2. Chapter 2

Sehun shares his room with a polite boy named Kyungsoo and Baekhyun, whom he first met under circumstances that left much to be desired. One bed is empty, but he doesn't give it much thought as days pass by. Baekhyun's bleeding nose from the day of Sehun's arrival is still somewhat a hot topic even a week afterwards, but Sehun himself chooses to keep his mouth shut and give his roommate some space for the time being. Generally, his life here is _lazy_.

At least when he's not staring at Luhan – and he got to know his name only because he overheard other kids calling him so - , the guy who approached him so cockily before. They didn't talk since then as the other seemed to have lost all interest in Sehun, but the ridiculous desire for being a part of Luhan's world he developed over the days made Sehun giddy and generally unhappy.

''People can say the meanest things.'' Kyungsoo tells him one day during lunch time. ''You shouldn't believe them. Everyone still talks about Baekhyun's condition behind his back, mostly because no one really knows what happened – but it hurts him the same. They just don't realize how much.''

The doctor announced that Baekhyun suffered mild brain concussion caused by a powerful blow to the side of his head that day. His nose was broken, but even though his condition pointed towards an obvious assault he didn't want to talk about what had happened. Rumors started spreading like wildfire.

Sehun doesn't know what prompted the statement at this very moment, but he's wise enough not to question Kyungsoo's words. Perhaps he's included in that group too; and as long as he neither makes fun – why would he? - of Baekhyun nor does he hold any interest in spreading false gossip about him like others do, his roommate probably doesn't know that. Baekhyun doesn't know Sehun's on his side because Sehun never said so. Chances are, Kyungsoo doesn't know either.

They are seated in the dining room, prodding at their food with little interest.

''How about you?'' Sehun dares to ask after a minute, but his eyes are still fixed on the pitiful vegetables that landed on his plate. ''Do you know what happened?''

''I...well.''

Kyungsoo has beautiful eyes, Sehun observes. Big, nicely shaped and so compassionate that it almost seems out of place, especially here. He's visibly uncomfortable and reluctant to answer, so Sehun alters his question a little.

''They say Chanyeol did it, but I saw them both that day and it didn't seem likely,'' he says slowly, eyes fixed on Kyungsoo's face. ''Besides, they are like...best friends, right? Why would he do something like that to him?''

The boy in front of him just sighs.

''It takes only one person to create a false truth everyone will catch on, just because it's easy and entertaining. Besides...some of them _wanted_ to see Baekhyun hurt.'' he admits, frowning. ''Jealousy is yet another factor. He's attractive, smart...he does so well in tests and everything. And on top of that, he has something they fear they will never have - a friend for life. It's only logical, in a twisted kind of way, to blame those closest to him in order to hit the sore spot.''

Sehun pushes a slice of dry bread into his mouth, not because he's hungry – far from it actually – but he fears he'll regret it later if he doesn't eat now. The simple gesture also buys him some time to think over Kyungsoo's words, because really... are people in here really like that?

''This is a little scary.'' he admits after a while. ''Should I start thinking that even though most people shot smiles and pat you on the back, there are high chances they are actually wishing for the worst to happen to me?''

Kyungsoo looks at him a little shyly, either regretting his bold words or just the fact that he decided to speak about Baekhyun in such situation. They finished eating and Sehun half expects him to just brush it off and leave, but then the boy speaks again.

''Let's just forget about it. What I really meant to say, Sehun...it's the same about Luhan. Don't believe what they tell you about him.''

That makes Sehun gap a little. Does Kyungsoo know he likes Luhan? But how? It's not like they hang out together, so there's really no ground for suspicions. He plays awkwardly with his own sleeve for a while. Maybe he's just being paranoid.

''You are being awfully vague, hyung...'' he says finally, opting for neutrality, and Kyungsoo bits his lip.

''I'm sorry. I'm just saying...don't jump to conclusions. What's being said about both of them hurts me, and I guess I just don't want you to be like the rest, you know...I don't think you are, of course – just... either way, please don't. They all have their own reasons for acting like they do.''

Sehun doesn't know what's being said about Luhan but he suspects he will find out soon enough. Lost in thoughts, he doesn't even have time to feel slighty offended that Kyungsoo kind-of-suspects him of being an asshole,too.

Baekhyun really likes himself. He likes fixing his hair, trying out new clothes – that doesn't happen often, but when it _does _it's totally worth it, he thinks – and even experimenting with make up. They don't , and even aren't allowed to have too many belongings in St. Badrick's, but from time to time they have a chance to help out here and there and earn some money to spend on things they like. Once in a month someone from the staff would take a few of them to the town as a reward for exceptionally good behaviour or progress in the course of their treatement, and that's basically how Baekhyun could afford those little treats that made him feel beautiful over the past months he spent in the facility. It helped.

Their room is as empty as it could be with everyone enjoying their lunch in the dining hall and

the _old _Baekhyun, being the loud, craving for attention bundle of joy he has always been would certainly feel more than a little ashemed of hiding in there alone.

Right now he isn't too sure who he is anymore, so instead of thinking he just dips his finger in the black powder and smolders the eye shadow over the lid of his right eye. It's like painting, except on your own skin, and the familar, soothing action makes him feel like an important canvas someone else is shaping. At least for a short while – but it's still better than nothing.

The door cracks open and he shivers involuntarily.

''What are you doing here alone?''

''Nothing.''

He sees Luhan's reflection in the mirror, staring at him intently. _He is judging me_, he thinks.

''You can't just hide forever,'' Luhan takes a few steps and the next moment Baekhyun knows the other boy's arms are circled around his shoulders, the action tender but the grip itself mercilessly tight. ''That idiot Chanyeol is going crazy. At least _crazier_ than usually...he scares the shit out of me when he's like that. Talk to him. Clean your mess. Do something, and as long as you're not sitting all alone the whole day anything is fine really.''

Luhan smells of soap and vanilla and the sweet scent of his warm body sends a traitorous tear down Baekhyun's cheek. He has never felt so lonely in his entire life.

''Luhan... I just don't know what to do. I really don't. I'm scared, terrified even...I just...can he still...''

Black, wet smudge is travelling down his face and Luhan wipes it off with his finger. ''Can he what?''

Baekhyun bites his lip, afraid of ugly sobbing. He hates being weak and hopeless, he despises his swollen face and the hideous scar marring his temple. He feels disgusting and filthy, broken beyond repair.

_Can you turn back time?_

''Can he still love me?'' he whispers as Luhan's soft lips press to his skin.


End file.
